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My father always said he was ‘drawn to the abyss’. His fear of heights was such that if you let him stand on a ridge dozens of meters high, he would be happy to end his life by jumping down,. ‘Down’ would attract him.

My reaction was quite opposite. Standing on the edge of a platform at 60m altitude without holding on to anything, made me wanting to step back and grab something to hold on to. The man behind me said ‘3, 2, 1, go’ and gave me a push. I fell down about 20m and started to decelerate from the contraction of the cord attached to my feet. After another 20m down I got to a halt and bounced up again. My first bungee jump was a fact, and I did it because I am afraid of heights.

You could win the jump at a youth fare in Utrecht. All you needed to do is write an answer to a question on a paper and put it with your name into a cardboard box. As I wanted to be sure to be one of the winners, I submitted my answer about ten times in the box, and voila! I got selected. The jump was set up on a crane which would lift a tiny platform up, with you on top of it, from which you could then jump off. They had placed a small air balloon below the platform to make you believe that you have any chance of surviving should the cord detach from your feet. The adrenaline was big. Despite the fear, or because of it, I loved the jump.

I repeated the jump in a much more beautiful environment: the Nevis bungee jump close to Queenstown in New Zealand. It was a bit of a dream come true ever since I saw the 1990 ‘Snowboarders in Exile’ VHS movie, but there I was: standing on the edge of a bridge and jumping down in the direction of an absolutely beautiful river where once Frodo and his Fellowship of the Ring canoed by.

Did it cure me? Nope. I don’t think there has been even the slightest change in my fear of heights. Starting with these jumps though, I learned over the years what scares me and what not. Standing on a balcony of the Burj Khalifa, or Aiguille du Midi, is ok. And even with climbing I learned that hanging on a rope in a glacier crevasse is no problem for me: as long as I am fixed to something, be it a climbing rope or bungee, I somehow feel safe. Climbing a 20m vertical is possible (but scary), but going down on vertical terrain is very scary. Would I be able to go down Step 2 on Everest North side? I know now that as long as I am attached to a rope, I will. Jump again from a crane? Once was enough, thank you.

Ciao!
Robin
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